Less Than Random Thoughts From a Science Fiction Author and Generally Good Guy [ Fawkes ]

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Okay, Monday. I Think I'm Ready

So, here's my plan. I jump off this cliff - you know - and things will work out fine - right? Yeah, that's my Monday plan. Alarm goes off, I shower, drive to work, and - bingo - things work out. Right? Why are you snickering? Did not your mother tell you it is disrespectful and cheeky to snicker at someone who is baring their soul (well at least sole, okay). No, really, I leap from this here cliff, notice no chute or rope. Nah, something will work out. It has to, right. I mean if it don't (yes, I'm British now, maybe even English) then - what? Splat?? Well that can't happen - no way. I mean, if it could, it already would'a, and it ain't, so sumpin' will pop-up. Yeah, then it will be a brilliant week - pure brilliant!
Running start - blind confidence of the believer... and bonzai....

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Harder Than I Thought

So, making progress on TD is turning out to be harder than I anticipated. I am getting V_E_R_Y busy at work and, darn it all, that's interfering with my writing. So unjust! I work through many lunches and stay very late, but I am doing a hell of a job. Also, it is rewarding. On weekends, I have other priorities (aka 'honey-does') which need time, so writing is pushed to the rear. This is unfortunate, but there is little wiggle-room. I guess this is okay, since I have a reason to fail. Silly? I don't know about you, but I tend to procrastinate and avoid tasks. So, if I have a good reason to not do something, well then I am justified, right?
Also, I have written the book. Its final version will be very similar to the state it is in. Hence, the creativity is gone. The skills of writing are there, but not the magic. Plus, my mind drifts to the next opus. Fiction or non-fiction. I feel that as a physician, I should write some wondrous work explaining/exposing/defending my very crucial area of expertise. But I don't have a burning issue to douse. My creative mind drifts back to spec fiction. I guess I'll do what I want to. Why do I have this yearning to pen a popular book? Vanity and a striving after wind, I guess. Validation and reward. I want to be better than the next guy - most of the next guys. In Lycidas, Milton writes: "fame is not a plant which on mortal soil grows." Best to keep that in mind, eh what?

Sunday, January 15, 2012

In case I forgot to mention, I am proceeding with leaps and bounds on Time Diving. I chalk that alacrity up to my organizational acumen. Say what? You do not believe me! Well I never....
Okay, yeah, I'm slow and unorganized and ice cubes freeze faster than I make progress, but I'm chipping-away at it. As I have mentioned before my busy new job keeps me from the keyboard, but what's an employee to do, I ask you? And so it goes...
But, as I re-re-re-edit I am cleaning things up and I am impressing myself as to how good the book is. Whether it will impress anyone else is the real issue, but I'm all-in.
I hope your 2012 is starting off well, greatly in fact. Oh, and GO NINERS!!! (that's American football, for my foreign readers).

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Where There Is Hope - There Is Life

I do truly believe that hope is the key, the gift which pulls us thought the darkness if we let it. Hope is a wondrous force and one with infinite power. All I need to do is continue to know it is there, cherish it, nurture it, and let is save me.
Heavy philosophy for early on a Saturday morning? Yes, I rather guess it is. Is there a reason I mention it just now, some horrific twist of fate or ill-omen come-upon me? Nope. I simply fancy I needed to remind myself - and you - to keep hope alive.
It's actually quite hard to speak of hope without employing, or at least struggling to avoid the use of, a myriad of cliches. Hope is the answer, says the song. Faith, hope, and charity, says the church. It also is pulled-into vacant thoughtless automatic remarks, as in 'hope you feel better soon.' When we all say that, is it because we stopped and thought deeply over their condition and as a result of that reflection we actively and expectantly 'hoped' for their recovery? Probably not.
So what does hope mean to me? It means a lot, really it does. It is very easy, justifiably easy, to fall into a hum-drum pattern of work, stress, worry, and preoccupation with the mundane. Hope is the blessing which offers me a leg-up to see beyond those perversities. I practice to keep hope alive in my heart and I do feel its consolation. You should try it too - often! Where do I apply it? Well, both to myself, to my loved-ones, and to this world. Most specifically, I apply it to my patients. I hope for them to improve. I also hope for them to feel the miracle of having hope. The hope I wish upon them is to know there is both improvement possible, if not recovery, and that someone cares.
The risk in all this hope-iness is that I do so out of vanity, some smug, self-righteous sense of "I'm better than the next guy." I hope that is not the case. It would not speak well for me, now would it?
Every day in clinic I tangle with a patient who should be, and may in fact be, bereft of hope. If I can allow them to hope for a better status, well then, dude, I done good. There is always some call for hope, actually often quite a lot.
You know what floors me, *headdesks* me the most? When I offer real, tangible, palpable hope to a down-trodden soul and they reject it - often angrily. It's a real step-back moment. If you were locked in pain, confined to near immobility, and condemned to poverty as a result of that suffering, and someone offered you realist hope, how could you refuse it? I know intellectually why they do, but it such a dark-evil spirit which impels them - and I cry a little and, yes, I die a little each to I see it. I see it a lot.
Not really. You know why? Sure you do! Because most of the time the person accepts the gift of hope and many time they experience transformative improvement. I don't mean cure, I mean an improvement in how bad they feel, how alone they feel, and they allow themselves to once again hope.
You know what floors me even more than hope-rejectors? Individuals who are in the sacred position of being able to offer hope and do not. In my microcosmic world, that would be medical providers who stare at a person desperate for a life-line, a life-saver, and not only do they not extend the offer, they don't see that they have it in their power to do so.
Wow, talk about a costly fumble - for both parties.
Glad that's not me and I hope it never is.
Now, get out there and hope, God love ya! Don't make me come over there and slap you upside the head.

PS: I promise the next one will be less heavy, okay?